Who do I want to be?

Last week I had the opportunity to go on a couple of short drives by myself to get to some appointments. One of those days, I found my mind wandering and I started thinking about things that I want. I wish we could afford to move or remodel our house. I have been desperately wanting a bigger car to fit everything we need in it for the baby. Honestly, my thoughts were terribly negative, and I was not appreciating what we have. The mindset I had that day was that the grass had to be greener somewhere else and if we had nicer things life would be so much better.

 I was listening to one of my favorite artists, Emily Ann Roberts on that drive and a song that I had not heard before came on. It was called “When I’m Gone.” She starts off singing about a funeral and how she cried when people started talking about this person's life. Then she starts to ponder and think about what stories people will share about her when she is gone. The chorus really hit me, she sings, “When I'm gone, will they care how much money that I've made? Will my success or failure be the measure of my days? or was my love all that mattered all along? What will they say about me when I'm gone?” 

This was one of those songs that gave me goosebumps and made me tear up. It made me stop what I was doing and completely switch my mindset. I started asking myself a series of questions. What kind of impact do I want to have on people? How do I want to be remembered? Do I want people to remember me in a positive or negative light? Of course, my answer to all these questions is exactly what you would expect. Most of us want to be remembered for the positive things we do. We want stories to be told for generations about how we had influence and impacted the world for good. The next question that came to me was How? How can I be a positive influence in the world? What can I do differently to change the lives of others in a more positive way?

The answer may seem complex, but it is quite simple. Emily Ann Roberts’ song asked, “was my love all that mattered all along?” The answer to that is yes. In the end our love is all that matters. I thought back to my grandma’s funeral. Nobody got up and talked about how beautiful her house was or how much money she made. They talked about her dedication to her family and the love she showed to everyone. People shared experiences of how she touched their hearts through her music and was always willing to sing to provide comfort to others in a time of need. She made people laugh, and served more people than I ever knew. My grandma’s love was the most important thing that she left behind.

Love is a powerful thing. At times it can get complicated and confusing to show love to someone when you disagree with them, or they have done something to hurt you. Nobody is perfect at loving everyone, me included, but if we can take the time to look past the disagreement or show forgiveness, we can create a positive change and leave a lasting impact in each other's lives. Small and simple acts of kindness can go a long way. Sometimes people just need to know that we are thinking about them. An appreciation text or a phone call to let someone know you are there can make their situation better and at times save their life. Sharing our talents, like my grandmother did, can lift others up and comfort those in a time of need. Showing love to those around us does not always have to be a huge extravagant act. The little things we do matter the most.  

The last question I asked myself that day was “who do I want to be?” Right now, I do not have the full answer, but I do know that I want to be known as someone who loves everyone despite what our differences may be. When we are gone our house will be sold, our money will be spent and our jobs will be filled, but our love and kindness will stick in the hearts of the people that we serve. My final questions are to my readers. What lessons do you want to leave behind when you are gone? How will you choose to impact others’ lives and Who do you want to be? We might all have a different answer, but I think we will all find that love is found in all of them.